View Full Version : Malaprops
A good friend's daughter has been having some medical issues that has been stumping the docs. She was just accepted into a diagnostic program at Johns Hopkins. I told my girlfriend (and a few others), "Wait and see, I'll bet you she's got some strange audio immune thing." I'm embarrassed to think how many times I've said that.
Got any?
There's really no need to list any. Just turn on the news every evening and listen to your President speak.
RaffCycles
05-03-2007, 05:23 PM
I can't think of any, but when the microphone at our studio kept cutting in and out my students looked at me in a state of shock.
I said "During this ride, take big breaths."
And they heard "During this ride, fake big breasts."
We all chuckled afterwards.
lizardbiker
05-03-2007, 05:27 PM
How about the movie Johnny Dangerously? It's a classic for malaprops!
"You cork sucking ice holes!" and "farging bastages"
jsejt
05-03-2007, 05:39 PM
I told the girls in the back one day, "nice back" they thought I said, "Nice Ass".
oops
megale3
05-03-2007, 07:41 PM
When I first started coaching "Deep Breath" sounded like "Deep Breasts" Did I get a lot of Females in class? Yep :P
M
Moonsavvy
05-04-2007, 12:41 AM
Well I once said...."push through the burn"
then I realized what the nurse kept saying to me while delivering my second child....TMI? I think so.
kszspin
05-04-2007, 07:54 PM
A long long time ago when I was dating my husband, we were watching some beauty pagent (Miss USA or something) on TV, and I made a comment about how thin they all were. Well, I said they were "emanicpated" looking (intead of emaciated) and how they should eat a steak or something. :roll:
He married me anyway. :D
Seventeen years later, and I still get kidded about 'emanicpated looking women'. :D
I said ambliance instead of ambulance for the first 24 years of my life! :oops: I remember the day I was at a stop light and one pulled up behind me (lights off) and in the rearview mirror, I saw the word and sounded it out... Wow! It's like when I had a frizzy perm and wore purple eye shadow... why didn't anybody say something!
monical1
05-05-2007, 12:47 PM
I said ambliance instead of ambulance for the first 24 years of my life! :oops: I remember the day I was at a stop light and one pulled up behind me (lights off) and in the rearview mirror, I saw the word and sounded it out... Wow! It's like when I had a frizzy perm and wore purple eye shadow... why didn't anybody say something!
My son called corn starch (which I used on his bottom instead of baby powder) porn stars! I kid you not. Now, normally I like the baby talk and am not in a big hurry to correct it, but we knew we better correct that one right away. All I need is to be in public and have him ask me to put porn stars on his butt!
M
My son called corn starch (which I used on his bottom instead of baby powder) porn stars! I kid you not. Now, normally I like the baby talk and am not in a big hurry to correct it, but we knew we better correct that one right away. All I need is to be in public and have him ask me to put porn stars on his butt!
M
:lol: i love that monica! hey if the same son who drew your avatar, he turned out okay despite it all!!! no oprah for you! jmd :D
I have to be very cautious when I use 2 words in a sentence. Those words are long and hard. Like "get ready for the next climb. It's going to be long and hard." Now, Sometimes if the mic cuts out during the first part of that cue, I get some strange looks from both genders in the room. Or "The next flat will be 8 minutes long and work reasonably hard now." Now...again, if a malaprop cuts in or a mic cuts out...strange looks from both genders.
okay some from my house too:
when my son gabe was a baby he took a pacifier...we called it his "nookie". one night he catapulted it out of his mouth at a resturaunt and i went back in to find it. this young bus boy was trying to help me and i just casually said, " oh i'm just looking around trying to find some nookie...." :oops: apparently there are many other ways that can be taken!
and finally we were out with friends before easter at a loud resturaunt talking about the impending holiday and who had what vacation days and where we were going.... of course i may have had a couple glasses of red wine before this...and i shout out, " you know what i think is so great, timm(my husband) "gets off" every good friday." :oops: i meant it to be just a statement, our friends on the other hand, who's minds fester in the gutter, took it the other way!!! so what are ya going to do? jmd :D
monical1
05-05-2007, 03:53 PM
My son called corn starch (which I used on his bottom instead of baby powder) porn stars! I kid you not. Now, normally I like the baby talk and am not in a big hurry to correct it, but we knew we better correct that one right away. All I need is to be in public and have him ask me to put porn stars on his butt!
M
:lol: i love that monica! hey if the same son who drew your avatar, he turned out okay despite it all!!! no oprah for you! jmd :D
No, not the same son, this came from my three year old. There are fifteen years between my oldest son and my youngest. My oldest is an artist while my youngest is showing signs of technological brilliance. Hopefully, in the future, his genius won't be wasted on surfing the internet looking for "porn stars". :shock: :lol:
Jennifer
05-05-2007, 04:56 PM
Okay, not a malapropism, but funny all the same.
Point to remember: I was painfully shy in high school. The joke among friends is that I saw more of the floor than anything else.
So, that last Christmas, my friends from high school (yes, 22 years later, we are the best of friends) are all back home, and we went out to a bar where an old classmate was singing. At one point I got up from the table (to visit the lades room), and someone asked if I was going to say to Dave, and I responded "I seriously doubt he would remember me, unless he recognizes me by the top of my head."
*crickets*
And then I heard what I had said and snickered, and everyone else lost it. I even have a picture of that exact moment:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/164/339980586_7e937be431.jpg
By the way, my friend in the blue velvet was home from basic training and wanted to get as far away from a BDU as possible. I'd say she succeeded.
All I need is to be in public and have him ask me to put porn stars on his butt!
M
Hysterical!
When my son was about 4, he and his little friend (about 3) were sitting on the floor petting our female dog's belly. All of the sudden I hear my friend's little boy say, "Ew, Matt, you petted her penis." My son, older & wiser, said, "She's a girl. She doesn't have a penis. She has a China bowl." (the name of a local restaurant)
Okay, not a malapropism, but funny all the same.
Point to remember: I was painfully shy in high school. The joke among friends is that I saw more of the floor than anything else.
So, that last Christmas, my friends from high school (yes, 22 years later, we are the best of friends) are all back home, and we went out to a bar where an old classmate was singing. At one point I got up from the table (to visit the lades room), and someone asked if I was going to say to Dave, and I responded "I seriously doubt he would remember me, unless he recognizes me by the top of my head."
*crickets*
And then I heard what I had said and snickered, and everyone else lost it. I even have a picture of that exact moment:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/164/339980586_7e937be431.jpg
By the way, my friend in the blue velvet was home from basic training and wanted to get as far away from a BDU as possible. I'd say she succeeded.
soooo funny and complete with pic. now that's a moment you'll truly never forget. okay, i am clueless, what doe BDU stand for, dare i ask? jmd :D
I have to be very cautious when I use 2 words in a sentence. Those words are long and hard. Like "get ready for the next climb. It's going to be long and hard." Now, Sometimes if the mic cuts out during the first part of that cue, I get some strange looks from both genders in the room. Or "The next flat will be 8 minutes long and work reasonably hard now." Now...again, if a malaprop cuts in or a mic cuts out...strange looks from both genders.
and we wonder why this sport is so popular? AC my 4 year old told me to turn up the volume on my computer, he couldn't hear what the man in that picture was saying...i'm glad he can't read lips yet! :lol: jmd
Jennifer
05-05-2007, 07:18 PM
BDU = Battle Dress Uniform
kszspin
05-05-2007, 09:36 PM
She has a China bowl." (the name of a local restaurant)
ok, I'll just admit it now, I've no idea what a China Bowl is? :oops:
Jennifer
05-05-2007, 09:38 PM
My son misunderstood and thought that girls had a "ladybug."
y-guy
05-05-2007, 11:55 PM
My Aunts name is Francis but she has always been Aunt Fritz our whole life. When my son was 4 or 5 he supplanted the fr sound with the t sound.
She has a China bowl." (the name of a local restaurant)
ok, I'll just admit it now, I've no idea what a China Bowl is? :oops:
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. We always used the anotomically correct words for things: boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. Obviously, he got confused. If you need more info, I'll recommend a book or two. :lol:
my daughters had a dance teacher when they were 3....her name was "miss sandy." their brother thought her name was "miss andy". not that odd, until you really thought about it. this lady was very nebulus(sp) in her gender, her hair, body shape, clothing were very ambiguos...uncommon for your average dance instructor, and when she put on her ballet shoes and demonstrated for the girls, it was so confusing. :shock: i love it when the kids can hit things right on the head, no beating around the bush! jmd :D
jsejt
05-06-2007, 01:40 PM
my daughters had a dance teacher when they were 3....her name was "miss sandy." their brother thought her name was "miss andy". not that odd, until you really thought about it. this lady was very nebulus(sp) in her gender, her hair, body shape, clothing were very ambiguos...uncommon for your average dance instructor, and when she put on her ballet shoes and demonstrated for the girls, it was so confusing. :shock: i love it when the kids can hit things right on the head, no beating around the bush! jmd :D
Yes I had a student last week say, "I don't like that shirt on you, it's to busy." :lol:
They crack me up.
I had another student find out my real name (shock to students that you really have a name) and she said, "you don't look like a Shannon, you look like your name would be "a boy Timothy." Funny.
kszspin
05-06-2007, 09:13 PM
Have to admit Pink, that I was really trying hard to find out the "China Bowl" connection. I was thinking it was something visual, not the name sound. (Guess it would help if I remembered what the thread was really about!) :lol:
This is the reason I was always uncomfortable knowing there were high school kids on the other forum. I'm an over 21 person for a lot of things. If it were up to me, 21 would be the age for any group ex certification.
Sometimes adult conversations can be funny and interesting to see how we can use metaphors to further the threads.
Shocking to think I actually can find things innapropriate.
China Bowl... :twisted: I meet Delores there whenever I can.
Jennifer
05-07-2007, 09:31 AM
China Bowl... :twisted: I meet Delores there whenever I can.
WOOHOO!
cfoam4me
05-07-2007, 10:28 AM
China Bowl... :twisted: I meet Delores there whenever I can.
I really know better than to read your posts while drinking coffee, thanks for the am chuckle!
y-guy
05-07-2007, 12:51 PM
correct me if i'm wrong
would that be classified as
pushing the envelope
correct me if i'm wrong
would that be classified as
pushing the envelope
ummm, it was certainly not my intent when I shared the story of an innocent 4-year old's malaprop. What was I thinking?
sandy
05-07-2007, 04:44 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[quote]
my daughters had a dance teacher when they were 3....her name was "miss sandy." their brother thought her name was "miss andy". not that odd, until you really thought about it. this lady was very nebulus(sp) in her gender, her hair, body shape, clothing were very ambiguos...uncommon for your average dance instructor, and when she put on her ballet shoes and demonstrated for the girls, it was so confusing. i love it when the kids can hit things right on the head, no beating around the bush! jmd
Swear it wasn't me
veespin
05-07-2007, 05:34 PM
This thread has taken a turn.
Let me offer up a prayer...
Our Father, which art in Heaven,
Harold be thy name.
That's what I thought it was until I got my first Book of Common Prayer as a nipper.
Good old Harry!!
Vivienne
melanieann
05-07-2007, 05:45 PM
I'm always screwing up words to songs...
For the longest time when I was a teen I thought that the Beach Boys 'Good Vibrations' was 'Good citations'...
Picture me and mom in the car listening to the Beach Boys and me singing at the top of my lungs:
"GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOOOOOOOD CITATIONS..." :o
I thought my mom was going to veer off the road and into the ditch she was laughing so hard and I just looked at her like :?:
monical1
05-07-2007, 06:02 PM
I'm sure everyone around my age or older is familiar with the song "Delta Dawn". There's a line in the song - "A man with a low degree stood by her side". My sister thought it was "A man with a load of grease stood by her side". We still laugh our A**es off about that one. It creates such a great visual!
M
megale3
05-07-2007, 06:39 PM
This thread has taken a turn.
Let me offer up a prayer...
Our Father, which art in Heaven,
Harold be thy name.
That's what I thought it was until I got my first Book of Common Prayer as a nipper.
Good old Harry!!
Vivienne
I wondered what his name was LOL thanks for this
M
kszspin
05-07-2007, 06:47 PM
When I was very little (around 2 or 3 I guess) my parents use to take me to Daytona Beach on the weekends to play in the ocean. Many times we left right after church in the morning, and I couldn't wait to play in the sand and get what I called "sun on the beach", however it always came out "sun of a beach" instead. They used to giggle about that...until I got anxious and said it REALLY loudly in the catholic cathedral..."SUN OF A BEACH MOMMY, SUN OF A BEACH!!" :shock:
Can't remember ever having a hand muffle my mouth so quickly. :)
melanieann
05-07-2007, 06:57 PM
China Bowl... :twisted: I meet Delores there whenever I can.
OMG, AC. I just went through and read the last few posts and I was clueless about what you were saying...Then I had that moment of realization... :lol:
veespin
05-07-2007, 07:01 PM
I wondered what his name was LOL thanks for this
M
And then there's the Top Cat theme.
Years ago, I remember friends of mine mentioning some sort of competition to get the words of the Top Cat song down.
Apparently, it's...."Close friends get to call him T.C.....pro-vi-ded it's with dignity...." etc. etc.
Vivienne
megale3
05-07-2007, 07:07 PM
I wondered what his name was LOL thanks for this
M
And then there's the Top Cat theme.
Years ago, I remember friends of mine mentioning some sort of competition to get the words of the Top Cat song down.
Apparently, it's...."Close friends get to call him T.C.....pro-vi-ded it's with dignity...." etc. etc.
Vivienne
Why Viv its great to hear you rap like that :P
M
China Bowl... :twisted: I meet Delores there whenever I can.
OMG, AC. I just went through and read the last few posts and I was clueless about what you were saying...Then I had that moment of realization... :lol:
I always felt I was the thinking man's pervert.
RaffCycles
05-08-2007, 10:34 AM
This thread has taken a turn.
Let me offer up a prayer...
Our Father, which art in Heaven,
Harold be thy name.
That's what I thought it was until I got my first Book of Common Prayer as a nipper.
Good old Harry!!
Vivienne
Viv
I thought his name was Art.
"Our Father who is Art in Heaven"
y-guy
05-08-2007, 01:13 PM
Question: If I may be so bold and so clueless.
Is there any history on the china bowl term?
Maybe its a regional thing (no pun intended)
However I have never heard it before this post
It would be totally unappropriate to mention some
of the slang that I have heard.
melanieann
05-08-2007, 01:24 PM
I don't think so...I think that Pink's little one just heard/pronounced the proper name for that part of the female anatomy wrong.
Question: If I may be so bold and so clueless.
Is there any history on the china bowl term?
Maybe its a regional thing (no pun intended)
However I have never heard it before this post
It would be totally unappropriate to mention some
of the slang that I have heard.
Exactly as Melanieann explained. DH & I are not much for baby talk. We always used anatomically correct words for body parts/functions. The China Bowl is a local restaurant. He just got the terms confused in his 4-year-old brain. This thing that cracked me up, beside the obvious mistake, was how he spoke with such knowing authority.
cfoam4me
05-08-2007, 03:31 PM
Ok, thanks to AC and this thread I had a red faced moment last night during cooldown. The song that was playing was Slip Sliding Away and the part that caused me to burst out laughing for no reason that was obvious to anyone in the room was "He said Dolores, I live in fear....". Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about all of you! :wink:
melanieann
05-08-2007, 04:02 PM
I would have had the same reaction to that song! My class is used to me doing odd things though. *shrug*
jsejt
05-08-2007, 05:24 PM
Ok~ last night I pulled an old CD out for Ball class. Example....Salt N Pepa, Young MC, and then all of a sudden without warning....."I like Big Butts and I cannot lie....."WHAT THE H%^&!!!!" Everyone breaks out into laughter and I even had 4 in the back start singing all the lyrics. I apologize and go switch the tracks.
Why is that song on a workout CD? People don't need to be reminded about their big butts!
Can you tell I hate the song? :lol: :lol:
monical1
05-08-2007, 05:47 PM
Oh I know!!!! I hate that song! But I wear my big butt like a badge of honor! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
M
melanieann
05-08-2007, 05:51 PM
*Haning my head in shame*
I have used that in a class before...I admit it...My name is Melanie and I like cheesy 90's songs...
Everybody likes a little junk in the trunk.
monical1
05-08-2007, 08:06 PM
Everybody likes a little junk in the trunk.
You might call me a "junk collector". 8) :lol:
jsejt
05-09-2007, 08:37 AM
Everybody likes a little junk in the trunk.
I swear (pun intended) that your guy is talking to me! True?
melanieann
05-09-2007, 12:14 PM
I swear (pun intended) that your guy is talking to me! True?
Personally, I love a challenge.
Moonsavvy
05-09-2007, 07:31 PM
Call me crazy, but I'm not hearing a word any of you are saying. :D
Julibird
05-21-2007, 10:08 PM
This morning a rider told me about how the sub did in my class last week. It's a small room and this sub is infamous (now I find out) for being very aggressive butt kicking. My mon. am class is normally all women, but last week a lone male comes to class and his bike is about three feet away from the subs bike - she keeps yelling "FASTER-FASTER!" After class, he asks his colleague, the one telling me the story, "What was she saying to me?" "Faster, faster!", she replied. He then says, "Oh! It sounded like she was saying "Bastard - bastard!".
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