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megale3
05-19-2007, 02:58 PM
I have given all the cats that run through my yard fits lately. Seems that the air vents under my home were damaged and something had crawled under the house and would send "Mister the cat" into fits around my register floor vents.
We have a lady down the street that is one of those "Cat Ladies" you know the kind that keeps a lot of cats and they are constantly in your grill. I figure that they've gotten under there after I had opened up the foundation from winter time to let it breathe. Well last night was nothing new Mister started freaking out on a vent in the front room and it is close to the front door which I keep a BB gun handy. I snuck out and sat by the porch light and waited with a BB and a couple of pumps primed in my Crossman 760 Pumpmaster. And there I sat motionless for what seemed like hours with the barrel of the BB gun trained on the vent opening some 8 feet away. Suddenly I saw a nose stick out of the vent :shock: but it was not a cat it was a Raccoon (Raccoon= squirrels+2) :twisted: His mask was unmistakable and he looked right at me from the hole.
As I stayed motionless and proved that HR and intensity are not always linear or related, my heart jumped. He poked his head out 3 more times checking the situation out not knowing that I was not going to freak out but planed to put a BB square on his ceistier. He finally came out and he was as big as 25 lb infant and as he made the turn to go the opposite direction I pulled the trigger. 8) With a good 3 foot vertical leap the raccoon ran to the back yard. All this time "Cristin the beautiful maiden" was laughing at me (The Great Man Hunter), sitting in a lethal poised position, with my BB gun. I yelled for her to turn on the back porch light as I ran-Hey its dark along side the house and that freakin rodent could be waiting to ambush me :evil:
So through the back gate I go. Looking up into the locus tree in the middle of the yard on the fifth highest branch the bandit eyes are looking straight at me on the ground with a glare. And with 5 pumps loaded and ready to unload :shock: And like a fearless hunter I yelled "get out of this yard!" which sent the neighbors to the windows to see what must have seemed like a crazed moron shouting at a tree. In the light of the back flood lights it set the stage in a to the death battle of man vs. rodent :x . Believe it or not that raccoon had the gull to go up higher in the tree :x This was unacceptable and I aimed and pulled the trigger and put one square on his ceister again. Down the tree he went and hit the back fence but did not clear it and started to run down to the left side fence of the back yard. Again I am screaming and more neighbors are coming to the windows to see the battle rage. The Raccoon scrambled to the top of the fence and sat defiantly looking at me. I calked the pump 5 more no 6 more times and loaded the shiniest BB I have ever seen in the barrel and took aim. On the cyclone fence he sat taunting me I had no mercy. It was going to be him or me and I was going to sleep good that night :x I squeezed the trigger and the rest was slow motion. With a twiit the BB came out of the barrel and it seemed like I could follow it with my eyes as it came out and headed on its deadly vector to rodent rear. The rodent was stunned as it parried off the fence and ran right through my freshly planted tomato and pepper patch sending the seedlings flying :shock: and out of the back yard it went leaving a trail of destruction to the innocent vegetables :cry: He did not come back and I saved a few seedlings. In war there are no winners, just peril and plight.
Meg

RaffCycles
05-19-2007, 03:08 PM
Meg, this is too funny.

megale3
05-19-2007, 03:13 PM
Meg, this is too funny.
I went back in and had a glass of wine ~to the spoils goes the victor! :wink:
Cristin has not stoped gigling at me this morning. :roll:
M

kszspin
05-19-2007, 03:38 PM
Better than a Grisham novel! :wink:

Pink
05-19-2007, 03:58 PM
Gawd, I luv you Meg! That's hysterical!

squirrels=racoons or is it now racoons=squirrels??

Raindrop
05-19-2007, 04:14 PM
I live across the river from Megs and have had some run-ins with the raccoons too. When we first moved into this house, we kept finding piles of "doo" in the fenced backyard. It was driving the husband crazy trying to see how dogs were able to get into the backyard. (we were dogless).

Then one day, I was training a client in my backyard and we were to the stretching part of her workout, her lying on a mat under a large maple tree, when all of a sudden she screamed, "AHHH! A dead raccoon!!"

It wasn't a dead one, but one sleeping in the crook of the branches up in the tree. It had actually stuffed a bunch of leaves into this crook and was sound asleep.

I waited until my client had left before I pulled out my BB pistol (ref. my squirrel adventure on the other board) and tried to wake that rodent up.
Unfortunately, my aim wasn't all that good even though I emptied one whole clip. About an hour later, he (I'm assuming it was male...why, I don't know) it sat up, looked around and climbed down the tree and left the area. (I couldn't shoot at it this time, because the I could hear the neighbors behind us out in their yard, and didn't want them to think the Clampets (i.e. Beverly Hillbillies) had moved in.

It never did come back to sleep in the tree, but I know it was around still because every once in awhile there's another pile of "doo" in the backyard.

Moonsavvy
05-19-2007, 06:26 PM
Ah that was entertaining! Thank-you.

Remind me to tell you about the canadian geese and their young gossling warriors. :twisted:

cfoam4me
05-19-2007, 07:01 PM
Thanks for a great play by play of Megs vs racoon. I actually think you and Pink have a calling as vermin busters!

like2bike
05-19-2007, 09:16 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

abby_b_fit
05-30-2007, 11:19 PM
OK, I know raccoons are pretty bad but, what about a family of BEARS!!! My mother-in-law lives in the mountians of Ashville NC and the other day she went out into her front yard and was face to face with an momma bear and her 4 cubs. Not 1 or 2 but 4!!!! The momma bear saw my mother-in-law and chased her cubs up a tree and then laid down under the tree and stayed there for several hours with her eyes on the house! When my mother-in-law would go out the front door the momma whould let her know she was not welcome there. This is her NEW addition. She has a teenage male hangin' out too!!! He's been there since last spring and has grown quite a bit since then.


I don't know??? Bears= raccoons X10


---A

2bfit
05-31-2007, 09:05 AM
My parents had a similar problem last weekend, minus the cubs. Picture a 60 year old guy, naked, chasing a bear away with a fire extinguisher, at 2:00 am!

like2bike
05-31-2007, 10:02 AM
My parents had a similar problem last weekend, minus the cubs. Picture a 60 year old guy, naked, chasing a bear away with a fire extinguisher, at 2:00 am!

I am picturing this and well, let's just say I have been giggling all morning at my desk, getting weird looks from my co-workers. CLASSIC.

megale3
05-31-2007, 12:14 PM
My parents had a similar problem last weekend, minus the cubs. Picture a 60 year old guy, naked, chasing a bear away with a fire extinguisher, at 2:00 am!

Makes me want to scratch out my inner eye :D LMAO this must have been a sight!

lizardbiker
05-31-2007, 01:13 PM
My parents had a similar problem last weekend, minus the cubs. Picture a 60 year old guy, naked, chasing a bear away with a fire extinguisher, at 2:00 am!

What was the bear doing with a fire extinguisher?

The whole thread reminded me of my campfire cookout that I had with a family of racoons after I graduated from college and was on my way to Newport, RI. I was camping and cooking hot dogs & s'mores when a racoon came out of the woods to check me out. I made him a hotdog. He took it with him back in the woods and came back with another racoon, I'm assuming was his mate. Made some more dogs, and then they came back again with a little one. After the dogs were gone I shared my graham crackers (didn't think marshmallows & chocolate would be good for them). I wish I had a camera, as at one moment we were all having a kumbaya moment around the fire. Nothing was spoken. Just silent sharing of the moment. As the food ran out and the fire died, I said goodnight and went into my tent. Unfortunately the racoon family wanted more food and for the longest time hung out around the tent making noises, but finally they realized the moment was over and they went back home.

like2bike
05-31-2007, 01:31 PM
What was the bear doing with a fire extinguisher?

The whole thread reminded me of my campfire cookout that I had with a family of racoons after I graduated from college and was on my way to Newport, RI. I was camping and cooking hot dogs & s'mores when a racoon came out of the woods to check me out. I made him a hotdog. He took it with him back in the woods and came back with another racoon, I'm assuming was his mate. Made some more dogs, and then they came back again with a little one. After the dogs were gone I shared my graham crackers (didn't think marshmallows & chocolate would be good for them). I wish I had a camera, as at one moment we were all having a kumbaya moment around the fire. Nothing was spoken. Just silent sharing of the moment. As the food ran out and the fire died, I said goodnight and went into my tent. Unfortunately the racoon family wanted more food and for the longest time hung out around the tent making noises, but finally they realized the moment was over and they went back home.

I can't wait to meet you someday--this is hilarous!

lizardbiker
05-31-2007, 01:33 PM
At least I was wearing my clothes and there were no fire extinguishers involved...

cfoam4me
05-31-2007, 04:42 PM
LMAO, that was great Lizard, absolutely great!! Naked people running around in the night for any reason would a tad scary!

spinguru
05-31-2007, 04:49 PM
I am getting strange looks from my office mates, because I am laughing entirely too loud.....you guys are hysterical (and just what I needed at 4:00 on a Thursday afternoon!)

abby_b_fit
05-31-2007, 05:33 PM
LMAO TOO! So, what about the fire extinguisher??????


---A

lizardbiker
05-31-2007, 05:54 PM
LMAO TOO! So, what about the fire extinguisher??????


---A

It would be useful if you were running around naked. Thinking about some Benny Hill skits...

2bfit
06-01-2007, 09:00 AM
It would be useful if you were running around naked. Thinking about some Benny Hill skits...

Too true!! Now I've got the Benny Hill music in my head...

NJspin
06-03-2007, 08:03 PM
This won't work for the racoons or bears.. but the Squirrels (http://home.comcast.net/~sbuchrd/Squirrelrelocater.wmv).:rolleyes:

abby_b_fit
06-04-2007, 12:45 AM
Wtff :^) :^) :^)

---a

megale3
06-05-2007, 12:27 AM
This won't work for the racoons or bears.. but the Squirrels (http://home.comcast.net/~sbuchrd/Squirrelrelocater.wmv).:rolleyes:

This is the single most useful tool created in the 21st century! This individual earned the Nobel Peace Prize! I want three! Where do you think that lil guy landed : )

Raindrop
06-05-2007, 12:44 AM
My luck, my neighbors will buy the squirrel locater and I'll be bombarded with squirrels splatting against my back windows. (YIKES!!!)

Great idea with a great soundtrack. All they need is a 30 second infomercial and a cost of $19.95, plus shipping and handling*


*if you order in the next 30 minutes they'll throw in a free jar of Skippy peanut butter for bait.