Amazingly Simple Home Remedies: WARNING--SOMEWHAT DISTASTEFUL

[like2bike]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. When confused remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. Especially if you're the one who pushed them.

[2bfit]

Love #7!!!!!

[Kathleen H]

[QUOTE=like2bike;60946]AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

Distasteful? Maybe

Funnier than a crutch?* Yes, Yes, Yes. That is what my morning needed.


*Unless you are on a crutch. Ooops.


Keep the peace, Keep your sanity, Keep the change

[monical1]

Thank you for sharing! I needed a good laugh this morning. My driver's side window was shattered last night while I was at work and my purse was stolen :o. I got an "I told you so" from my husband about leaving my purse in my car. Sometimes I just have to learn things the hard way! After the "I told you so", I got a big hug and a "I'm just glad you're okay". It made the "I told you so" a lot easier to swallow. Thanks for the most needed laugh!

Monica

[lizardbiker]

Those were indeed funny, L2B!!! Great way to end the week and start the weekend is with a good laugh!

Monica, sorry to hear about your car and purse. I grew up in a small town where you never locked your doors and still live in an area like that now, so I'm very naive when I go places that you need to lock everything up. Just hard to fathon how people can destroy and take other people's items. Hope they catch the crook and you get your stuff back!!

[cfoam4me]

[quote=like2bike;60946]
Funnier than a crutch?* Yes, Yes, Yes. That is what my morning needed.
*Unless you are on a crutch. Ooops.

AHEM...I find absolutely NOTHING funny about ANYTHING having to do with crutches!!!! :wink::roll:

[RaffCycles]

[quote=Kathleen H;60959]

AHEM...I find absolutely NOTHING funny about ANYTHING having to do with crutches!!!! :wink::roll:

Give it a few more weeks of therapy and you'll change your mind.:p

[Kathleen H]

[quote=Kathleen H;60959]

AHEM...I find absolutely NOTHING funny about ANYTHING having to do with crutches!!!! :wink::roll:

Um. Sorry. Crutches. Not funny. No siree. It was funny like an ailment that none of us on the forum has/have/or ever will have. :redface:

Still, it was funny. Just not in a crutch way.

[monical1]

Those were indeed funny, L2B!!! Great way to end the week and start the weekend is with a good laugh!

Monica, sorry to hear about your car and purse. I grew up in a small town where you never locked your doors and still live in an area like that now, so I'm very naive when I go places that you need to lock everything up. Just hard to fathon how people can destroy and take other people's items. Hope they catch the crook and you get your stuff back!!

Thanks Lizardbiker, but alas, no one will be charged with anything because they sent a public service aid to my "rescue" and she didn't "service" or "aid" anything. There was a girl at the gym trying to help me out by taking pictures of my car and calling my insurance company and she told the public service aid that there were two young boys wandering around aimlessly and they may have seen something or been involved and the the lady didn't even look in the boys' direction. She just wanted to file a police report and then sit her fat but back on he truck seat and do "who knows what". I get soooo tired of people not doing their job :roll:, it's beyond frustrating! I won't get my stuff back and I have a $500 deductable on my car insurance, so I'll have to pay for the window out of my pocket. However, I'm okay, and my family is healthy and happy and it's just stuff, stuff can be replaced, right? This probably shouldn't be in the "what's so funny" category, huh? :D

Monica

[SpinBob]

Funny stuff, not distasteful at all, actually quite tasty. Yum.